Saturday, October 8, 2011
I Wear Pink For My Mom
I'll make a long story short...
In 2001, my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. She had her right breast and lymph nodes removed and then went through chemotherapy and radiation. And since her breast cancer was estrogen-positive (or hormone receptor positive), she had a full hysterectomy as well at a later time. It was a long and difficult year for us.
Not to mention I was ending my sophomore year of high school. And my mom decided to divorce my dad.
But, we got through it. Stronger.
Now, here we are, 10-years later and my strong, independent, happy mom has been diagnosed with breast cancer again. My mom was cancer-free for 10 years. I keep asking God 'Why?' and wondering why this is happening to my mom, to us, again. But that is the thing about God. It's always a journey. He wants us to learn from these things. In another post, I'll write about what I'm learning through all this, but for right now, this is about my mom.
What to say? It's so hard. I didn't take the news easily. I was strong on the phone with my mom, but I'm sure she could hear it in my voice that I was cracking. Because all moms know. I cried when I got off the phone. I told Jake that I needed him to get off of work as soon as possible because I needed him. I was in a sort of funk for about 2-days and then I picked myself up and started moving forward again. I was strong the first time. I'll be strong this time too. For my mom. She needs me to be strong again.
Why would God allow my mom to get cancer again and go through this again? Why would God test our strength? Why oh why oh why? Why my mom? Why any woman? Am I doomed to get breast cancer too? Will I be able to be strong like my mom? What lesson is God trying to teach me, my mom? What should I take away from this?
This time around, it's small. My mom will go through a full double mastectomy and prepare during this surgery for a later surgery to do reconstructive surgery [the humor in all this is that my mom is now considering what size she would like to be -- she's always been smaller chested, so she's pretty excited!!]. If the cancer is not in the lymph nodes, she will not have to go through chemotherapy or radiation again. I am hoping and praying that she will not have to go through that again... that was hard. It was hard on my mom and it was hard on me. And my brother and sister. And my grandparents. All around, it was difficult.
My mom is doing well. Her spirits are high and she is maintaining her positiveness and strength. If I could be like anyone in the world, I'd want to be like my mom. She's so strong and has been through so much that could kill her spirit and she still holds her head up high and keeps moving forward. She's an amazing woman.
Her surgery is on October 21. I'm going to be with her from the 19th-25th. My grandparents also plan on being in town during that time for her and my mom has a ton of friends lined up to help take care of her as well. My mom is blessed with amazing people in her life. I'm worried about Jake holding down the fort here while I'm gone (she lives out of state, about 5-6 hours away) but I know that he'll do just fine. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers during this time. We all need to find the strength to move forward and keep our spirits high.